making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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