also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize