can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
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