So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
