Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im six kinds of drunk right now
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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