I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
