just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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