those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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