yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
