I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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