Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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