so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's so Britney 2007, you know?