I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams