Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...