cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.