I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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