I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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