im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Go christen that room with your naked body.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
