dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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