This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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