Christians are straight up FREAKS
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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