porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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