I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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