Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
