I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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