My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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