If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
