Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
