hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
