I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize