i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
