Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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