I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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