i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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