why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you ๐
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Iโm really regretting these suede pants.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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