I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
