I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
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it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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