Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
how drunk are you?
Several
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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