Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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