what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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