How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize