the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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