You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize