i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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