she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
