just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
