Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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