he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
