I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
