Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Oh god it's open bar.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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