whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
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You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
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So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.