Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
you made out with another girl for some wings