Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
