Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
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Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
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I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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