Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
This is classic penis vs brain.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
