Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
