Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
