Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
