i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I AM VODKA MAN
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
