I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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