so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
