if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The adults are the big ones right?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
